STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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