We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
