So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize