Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
