if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
