He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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