there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
