Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
birth control should be required to get into college
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
