how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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