He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
