I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
