Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
