Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
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what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
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Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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