just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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