Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
