Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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