If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just had sex bonerless
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
