i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
