why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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