consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
