We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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