Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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