My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
