she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
