So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
