Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
