and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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