Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize