Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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