I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just high enough for therapy.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
