Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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