I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
