all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
