The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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