it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
