I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
