I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she peed on how many people?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
