dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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