i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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