I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
