One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
