Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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