I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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