Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.

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  (952): I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it. http://tfl.nu/soz7
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (438)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

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  (603): I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now http://tfl.nu/6uxz
  Replies (21) Good night (4979) Bad night (576)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas

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  (251): I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas http://tfl.nu/8b13
  Replies (10) Good night (808) Bad night (3690)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.

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  (503): She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party. http://tfl.nu/vfln
  Replies (46) Good night (743) Bad night (7122)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.

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  (815): So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit. http://tfl.nu/x6k6
  Replies (33) Good night (7426) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.

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  (561): He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line. http://tfl.nu/pwiz
  Replies (6) Good night (1038) Bad night (3087)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...

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  (614): I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice... http://tfl.nu/gtdb
  Replies (7) Good night (2861) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together

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  (978): We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together http://tfl.nu/81ca
  Replies (6) Good night (2537) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable

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  (248): Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/6hsi
  Replies (3) Good night (1474) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.

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  (970): at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt. http://tfl.nu/x5kq
  Replies (3) Good night (1950) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

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  (850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong. http://tfl.nu/d58h
  Replies (6) Good night (1338) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.

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  (303): I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/1ezb
  Replies (4) Good night (757) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

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  (864): If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI http://tfl.nu/re47
  Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating

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  (563): I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating http://tfl.nu/zdvr
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp

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  (860): It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp http://tfl.nu/5iy1
  Replies (3) Good night (250) Bad night (341)

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