Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.