I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.