Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
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Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.