Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

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  (925): when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober? http://tfl.nu/qjrt
  Replies (30) Good night (934) Bad night (2084)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.

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  (208): She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again. http://tfl.nu/3vjv
  Replies (15) Good night (1089) Bad night (5706)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.

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  (334): she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rmvr
  Replies (39) Good night (1497) Bad night (5657)
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  (845): View more from New York

  im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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  (845): im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gfgs
  Replies (12) Good night (1276) Bad night (2865)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.

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  (604): the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/g0q9
  Replies (2) Good night (2727) Bad night (777)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.

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  (305): I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him. http://tfl.nu/a6jy
  Replies (4) Good night (3567) Bad night (784)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.

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  (316): This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school. http://tfl.nu/crw7
  Replies (21) Good night (938) Bad night (2151)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.

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  (541): Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one. http://tfl.nu/3exv
  Replies (15) Good night (1457) Bad night (603)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.

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  (414): I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work. http://tfl.nu/n3jo
  Replies (0) Good night (1244) Bad night (478)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.

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  (859): No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too. http://tfl.nu/lxn7
  Replies (9) Good night (858) Bad night (493)
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  (562): View more from California

  When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.

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  (562): When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much. http://tfl.nu/3gvt
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (412)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.

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  (+61): I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night. http://tfl.nu/wtly
  Replies (3) Good night (365) Bad night (608)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."

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  (269): Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler." http://tfl.nu/hnpm
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (305)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu

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  (303): Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu http://tfl.nu/5y7f
  Replies (9) Good night (426) Bad night (635)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies

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  (413): This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies http://tfl.nu/p3t8
  Replies (0) Good night (757) Bad night (286)

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