Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.

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(209): View more from California

ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(740): View more from Ohio

Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems

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(317): View more from Indiana

I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night

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(734): View more from Michigan

But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs

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