Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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