Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
