you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just invented taco cereal.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
