My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
