break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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