I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize