I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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