Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Come see our sink grown plant.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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