thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
sarcasm needs its own font
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
