is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
