people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there was a trapeze. enough said
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
