i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
