i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize