The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
