So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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